Making New Memories

Something I said in my last entry about how friends can still be great friends even if they are not around 24/7.

I think this is a really important concept, and one that my former self was struggling with. It has a lot to do with being comfortable and confident with yourself. Needing constant reassurance that you are loved and cared for is always going to end badly. You need to internalize the love that others give to you and carry it with you even if they are not there to reaffirm at all times.

Of course it is important to reaffirm friendships and love, but it is okay if time lapses.

This weekend, my live-in boyfriend, Andrew, and I are heading down to a "college reunion" put on by our friend Kevin. There should be at least 14 of us there and I am super excited to go. It will likely be total chaos and a lot of fun. We haven't seen most of these people in at least eight months and some of them we haven't seen in over a year! There was a similar reunion back in the fall that Chelsea threw and less people could attend, but this time we started planning in May to ensure that no one had other plans!

My former self NEVER went to things like this because it was unnecessary. Being in high school meant that even if she didn't hang out with her friends she would see them at school. In a way this causes some problems. When you see people all the time at school, but never outside of school you always know who else they are spending time with. You hear about the parties, sleepovers and mall trips that you are not a part of and it can lead to a feeling of isolation.

I am super glad that Facebook was not around when I was in high school because it just allows for so much more information about all of the parties and things that you are not a part of. While it makes communication easier for those of us who are many many miles away from friends and family, it is not necessary for teenagers who see each other every day at school. I won't even get started on cyber bullying...

Andrew and I are very excited to spend time with friends and let loose. Many of us going to the reunion lived in the same residence hall (Funnelle) for a couple years. This made it very easy for us to spend time together. We have inside jokes like "found the bucket" and "the beast," and kept a drunk book of funny things that any of us said while intoxicated. Well, the drunk book is coming this weekend, too! And I'm sure we'll be making some new entries.

Growing and Changing

The journal of my former self highlights the ups and downs of friendships. I find this quite fascinating. One friendship in particular strikes me. My former self seems to be consistently at odds with Jaclyn.

Jaclyn and I met in 4th grade when she transferred from a private school to my public school. She was a total nerd complete with massive, thick glasses and no sense of style from years of wearing uniforms to school. We hit it off right away and became best friends. We spent time together CONSTANTLY. The two of us practically lived at her grandmothers house and always had a blast!

As the years went on we were thrown in different directions, made different friends and different choices. Through it all we remained friends. We were the type of friends that could get in a huge fight one day and be best friends again the next.

This is very interesting to me because we still have a similar type of friendship. We go weeks without speaking and both blame the other for it. Then we get together and all anger melts away. We relish in our shared time and pick up right where we left off. We talk about anything and everything without holding back.

Yesterday I went to visit Jaclyn. She has the most beautiful daughter who is two years old and has a smile that can light up the room. The more time I spend with Giada the more I see her display the goofiness that she got from her mother, as well as the take-control attitude. I am so happy to be able to see her grow up!

I'm also extremely happy for Jaclyn. She recently married Giada's dad and in December will give birth to a baby boy! She has this wonderful family and a devoted husband which is what she always seemed to be looking for.

My former self would get very upset about the status of friendships and worry that she had no friends at all, or at least no friends that cared at all. Now I see and understand that even if a friend is not there all the time, it does not mean they care any less, or that they hate you, it just means that you'll have more to talk about when you get together again.

Friends and Ice Cream

So day two of journal # ???

I actually managed to hack into another old journal yesterday! Apparently this one was my "secret diary" that no one but me could read. Basically this means that it was the completely uncensored thoughts of my former self. Interestingly enough, there are entries which coincide with entries in my former self's "public" journal. Real juicy stuff.

Actually, its a little terrifying. It's funny how we forget things over time, like how I had a super secret crush on one of my best friends. It's also funny that I absolutely cannot understand why I did.

Yesterday I went to Troy to see a show played by Beek's "friend" Sean. I really wish he spelled his name 'Shaun' because I've never known a Shaun, but I know plenty of Seans. Anyway, the show was actually part of National Night Out (America's Night Out Against Crime). When we got there, Sean and his friend were just starting to play. They took a break so this band, Prime Time, could finish up. Unfortunately, Prime Time used up all the gas in the generator so that was the end of live music.

We went to Browns for some brews and some eats and it was nice to have a pseudo double date with Beek since we haven't done that in...probably ever.

The rest of the night was very low key.

Today I was visited by Molly! She came over from Connecticut to get her car fixed and stopped by the house for a little while. We chatted and laughed and had a good time until she had to head out to meet someone for lunch.

I also got the greatest news today: Jaclyn is having a baby BOY!!! I'm so incredibly excited for her. She already has a beautiful daughter, Giada, and will be adding Luka to her family this winter! Nick and Jaclyn, I am so happy for you!

I'm hoping to stop by and see her today before she leaves for her honeymoon to Dominican Republic!

Later today Andrew and I are meeting up with some fellow Oswego Alumni of the Capital District! It should be a fun evening and there will be ice cream!

Numero Uno

In case you a reading this you should probably know that I am average.

I have likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, failures and flaws. I am also easily amused and easily grow bored. The likelihood of this blog writing turning into an every day or even every week thing is about 3%.

So why am I bothering?

Throughout my life I have kept various journals, handwritten and electronic, which chronicle stages of my life. I've recently embarked on the adventure of re-reading the journal I kept as a freshman in high school nearly ten years ago. It is very interesting to look back into the mind of my former self and essentially see how much I have grown or remained the same in the past ten years.

The most notable difference between my former self and my present self is that I am 23 years old and about to being my second year of graduate school while 'she' is 14-15 and going through the trials and tribulations of high school.

I like to think that I have grown into a 'better' person. That I am somehow smarter, wiser and more laid-back than my former self. Am I? Well, that is what we will find out, isn't it!?

Thinking about what I just wrote in comparison to the journal of my former self, I can tell you that my grammar has improved and I have used "lol" far less.

I hope that this does become a frequent thing for me. My last journal project was started two years ago and went bust after two short months. Cross your fingers!